What does it mean to be ‘a good man’ in the 21st Century?

Times are changing and today’s quality of life is a completely different one to 20-30 years ago. Anything that isn’t coherent anymore; i.e. energy systems which aren’t in the flow & are blocked, or lives that aren’t based on genuine heart centred authenticity will present themselves much stronger than before, as they aren’t durable anymore.

Our current time is essentially marked by the rising of earth and sun energy frequencies- which resonate exponentially high right now! For that reason, the systems of body, psyche, man-woman relationship and work organisation will be deeply affected by it. He who doesn’t love his job, partner and body – runs the risk of losing it.  It is very clear that most men today are deeply confused. They don’t know how to be, they’ve lost the rule book, they don’t know what’s expected of them, they don’t know what it is to be truly masculine, because they are confused by Hollywood movies, archetypes and comic strips. They don’t know what is right anymore… So a lot of men go around with as much of an act put on as possible, to keep themselves together from day to day. And if you strip all that away, they are really hoping to encounter some woman, who will be able to help them with this.


If we look at the past of any man, that played out in his childhood and youth, we can find the fundamental causes of why the 40year old, the 60year old, or also the 25year old man today, finds himself in a crises. The situation in his youth was marked by two basic factors. Firstly, an extreme dependency on his mother. The mothers – usually out of their own unhappy existence – take hold of the children, especially the sons! That means, a son today is 90% ‘together’ with his mother and only to a very small percentage with the father. That causes an extreme entanglement of today’s men with their mothers, which doesn’t stop in due time, but instead continues. The man is normally not aware of such an involvement, yet it extremely affects not only his relationship with women, but also his whole being as a man. The second condition is that he didn’t have a father, or an absent father, or a weak father. From this his learned – teamed up one-on-one with his mother – to judge and blame his father as loser, failure, not good enough, not loving enough, not nice enough. Yet many fathers behaved exactly like this. Either they were not present, or they were aggressive, in a bad temper, or dominating, powerful, violent…and our little boy didn’t want to be such a man! However he didn’t get any information about how to be ‘a real good man’. The only thing he could do was to look up to his mother, trying to fulfil her expectations and wishes. That again causes him today to repeat his own mother experiences with his current female partner. But now it becomes neccessary for him to release himself from this through his conscious decision to entangle his past systematically, firstly of his bond with his mother, and secondly the entanglement from the blame to his absent, condemned father, whom he may now put behind himself and who will then bless him. Meaning the father has to communicate to him that he, the son, is loved and that he is proud of him. And because this is done via spiritual counselling and facilitated via meditation, it is possible to do with the worst father in the world. In these imaginary conversations it is very important for the man to recognize that he is still a little, lonely, hurt, sad, or angry boy within. Exactly that boy that he had to leave when it was expected of him to grow up and become an adult. Yet with these simple meditations, it become possible for anyman to free himself from those old, past limitations.

Modern man finds himself in various dead ends….
Firstly in a dead end with his body. Most male bodies are more than damaged. You can read that in many publications; the body of men suffers from endless symptoms – not only the heart, which is the most common. Also his back, joints, liver, spleen, tinnitus. Men kill themselves up to 8 times more often than women and emergency rooms are occupied up to 2/3 only with men.
Secondly Burn out and depression are also extremely common amongst men, that means it usually starts on the psychic level, then continues into the physical level, resulting that men are in a psychic-emotional crisis because he has learned  to suppress his emotions since he was a little boy. These emotions however can’t be suppressed after 20, or 30 years. An emotion is an energy that desires to flow! But he has learned that he is not ‘manly’ if he shows and expresses feelings like fear, anger, grief, because of a likely rejection. The message he got was: Don’t show emotions if you want to be ‘real boy/man’.
The next crisis happens in his work environment, because he had learned to perform: You have to get to the top – do things! and with that he put himself under a lot of pressure. In the end, although he works very hard, performs above standard, has accumulated a lot of money and even owns his little house, he realizes today: “I am not happy.
The fourth crisis happens in his relationships to women, because here he doesn’t get what maybe the last generation of fathers got, i.e.: respect and acknowledgement, since women meanwhile went their own way. The old role model of being the provider and protector of the family has long drifted away. That means he can’t pride himself on that any more. Thus he has to find a new role for himself….

The crisis of men can conclusively be described as often living an extremely inadequate & unfulfilled life at work, in his relationships, as well as in sexually. He feels overwhelmed by this pressure to perform and frustrated upon the realization that even if he tries his very best, he remains deeply unhappy. Thus he finds himself at the deep end, but which is now confronting him as it becomes apparent and from which he urgently wants to escape.

Any man who doesn’t know what an happy, authentic man is, neglects his body with the result that eventually, he has to suffer in from his pain and dis-ease. The body that isn’t loved, respected and treated well by his owner has to fall ill. The relationship that isn’t based on love has to break down in time. Although it was possible in the past to have relationships without love, when they were arranged, done out of routine, boredom, or based on expectations, etc., this is no longer possible.  He who doesn’t love his job, partner and body – runs the risk of losing it.


You can read more about it at
A new Perspective on male Spirituality
 Indigo Visions


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